Big Girl Panties Cupcakes- Chocolate Stout Cupcakes with Salted Caramel Cream Cheese Frosting

I'm gonna just go ahead and put this out there- These cupcakes are NOT for the faint hearted. They are not for children. They are not for the fragile or the delicate. These fuckers are NOT for pussies.

The cupcakes aren't sweet. They are intense, chocolaty and a lil' bit bitter. The icing is light, fluffy and sweet but insanely dimensional in flavor.

To sum it up- if you want to enjoy these cupcakes, put on your big girl panties and roll up your sleeves.

Cupcakes

Measure Yo' Shit:
1 cup delicious, sinful dark beer - I thought it would be a good idea to "taste-test" 4 different beers before choosing the perfect one. I chose Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout but I think any of them would have been awesome.
1/2 cup unsalted butter
3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa - I used Ghirardelli because that's what I had, but I usually prefer Valrhona for, well, anything really.
2 cups dark brown sugar
2 teaspoons instant espresso powder - Instant coffee worked just fine.
3/4 cup sour cream
2 eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
2 cups flour
2 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

Get Your Mix On-
Just to put this out there- I think the cupcake recipe could probably use some tweaking. There's a little too much baking soda and maybe not enough chocolate. I'm also morally opposed to being deprived of using my kitchenaid when I bake.

1)Try not to drink all the beer before you start. I know that shit is good as hell- but there should be plenty left over to drink while you bake.
2)Melt the butter and the beer over medium low heat
3)Whisk in the cocoa, sugar and espresso (coffee). This is the one part of the process that doesn't require EXACT measurement. Taste test it because this shit might be even better than the cupcakes. It's like drinking chocolate with coffee and beer. Seriously? Are you shitting me? Could anything BE any more delicious?
4) Mix the sour cream, eggs and vanilla and then add in the beer hot mocha heaven. It looks real purty when your mix it.
5) Of course you're supposed to sift the flour and baking soda. Personally, I don't believe in sifting. Throw that shit in a bowl and mix it up with your fingers. You are baking, bitch- if you aren't getting messy, you aren't doing it right.
6) Apparently you are supposed to fold that shit into the batter. I dunno, dude. The batter looked chunky- like fucking brownie mix and it tasted so baking soda-y that it made me pucker my lips...
7) Find some super cute cupcake liners. I would recommend the silver ones because the chocolate stained my cute vintage swirly ones. Bake at 350 for 25 minutes.
8) You can sit around and wait for that shit to cool down before icing, or you can throw it in the freezer. I'm impatient.

Salted Caramel:

4 tablespoons water
1 cup brown sugar
2 tablespoons light corn syrup
1/2 cup heavy cream
2 tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon salt, kosher or sea

1) Heat the water, sugar, and the corn syrup on medium low. Maybe don't taste-test the carmel until it's done. That shit gets HOT. I have a burned tongue to prove it.

2)That's right, go ahead and put the lid on to reduce temptation. 3 minutes should do the trick.

3) Increase the heat ever so slightly. No more stirring from hear on out- just shake and shimmy the pan so you don't burn your delicious caramel. Now, I should remind you that you're supposed to be listening to mirah- this means you should be singing at the top of your lungs to The Garden right about now and doing interpretive dance in your kitchen.

4) It's gonna bubble and get really funky looking for a while. Be patient and keep shaking the pot until it looks like amber.

5) Remove the pot from the heat and pour in the heavy cream... mmmmmm, heavy cream

6) You're allowed to stir it again, but, seriously kids, I know you didn't follow my advice and you tasted it the first time. Try not to make the same mistake again. This shit is hot. Like me and K

7) Add the butter, lemon juice, and salt and stir that shit like it's been misbehaving.

8) Pour into a glass bowl or measuring cup and let it sit for about 20 minutes. You should be able to taste it after a couple of minutes. Blow first. It will thicken with time- just like the hottest girls I know.

Frosting:

So, I followed the recipe fairly strictly up until this point- The first time I try a new recipe, I tend to be pretty obedient. I'm sure I will update this entry the more times I bake it. The icing? That's a different story. That's the part of cupcake baking that I love- it's so hard to mess it up and you can just add shit and taste until you get what you want.

1.5 sticks unsalted butter at room temperature
6 ounces cream cheese
4-7 cups powdered sugar
3/4 cup salted caramel

Oh, I might've added half of a scraped out vanilla bean and 1/2 a cup of beer. Because I like beer.

1) throw in the dairy goodness and beat that shit into submission. Usually 1 or 2 minutes gets it nice and creamy.

2) Remember, sifting is bullshit. Throw two cups of sugar and mix for another minute

3) added the salted caramel (ssshhhh- and some beer)

4) now keep adding sugar, scraping the sides and bottom, mixing and adding sugar until you've got a good thick consistency that isn't crunchy in your teeth.

Put It All Together:

• Frost the cupcakes- I used my standard 1M and just did a yogurt pump swirl
• Drizzle leftover salted caramel over them- I found it looked best if you try to drizzle in the general direction that you frosted
• Sprinkle some kosher salt over the top.
  
• Garnish with chocolate covered espresso beans.

Hattip: http://thebrooklynkitchen.wordpress.com/2008/05/20/best-in-show-the-prizewinning-cupcakes/