Multi-Grain Baking

So, Michela, who is pretty much the most awesome person I know, just asked my opinion about starting to bake with whole grain flour, and I realized that I actually have a lot of info to share. So, here you go, everyone in the world who is just slightly less awesome than Michela:

We should all be using whole wheat flour. white flour will kill you, as michael pollen would happily tell you. it's stripped of its nutrients, but it tastes...effing amazingly simple and pure. eventually, your palate will learn to respect the whole grain, and its complexity, even more.

here's what i know:

wheat flour is heavy, and the taste leaves something to be desired. here's how to deal with it, from what i have learned:

1. whole wheat pastry flour will act more like AP flour.

2. add a touch of honey or molasses to fill out the flavor, or try applesauce or mashed bananas

3. adjust the leavening agents. whole wheat flour requires more yeast, for example. also, adding a tablespoon or two of vital wheat gluten can make a big difference in texture. (wheat gluten is the shit gluten free peeps are afraid of. you can get it in the flour or health food section of most grocery stores. it comes in a little box, around the size of baking soda.)

4. change it up a little. oat flour is fucking delicious. i like to use 1/2 whole wheat and half oat in muffins and stuff...and all oat in cookies is great. alternately, throw in a couple of tablespoons of ground flax or buckwheat or anything else, to give variation from that flavor.

they will probably have more of this than you think at your regular grocery store.

Now, let's be honest. I can't have flour at all right now. I seem to be in a bit of a carb-detox (minus fruit, of course) and let me tell you what: it sucks completely. i srsly thought about punching my roommate to steal her pizza the other day...and...you know...i'm a quaker! so, this is all imaginary. as long as it is, let me throw in another tip that is helpful to those who are not having everything but lean meats and veggies cut out of their diet right now...salt. yum...

so anyway, other tips:

*salt, baby! it brings out the nutty flavors of whole grains. try sea salt or braggs for a healthy alternative.

*speaking of nuts (yeah, i wrote that) adding fruits and nuts to whole grain baking is like the best plan ever

*add a little fat, too. a dash of olive oil, butter or extra virgin coconut oil goes a long way.

* multi-grain pretty much always tastes better than whole wheat. (esp. pasta)

*white flour basically acts just like glue for your food (think about cupcakes...all the flour really does is bind them and puff them up.) whole grain flour is actual food. so you have to learn to work with it instead of just bending it to your will. this means that you have to try most recipes two or more times before you get them right again. (btw, as soon as i can eat this shit again, i'm posting the pumpkin muffin recipe, altered) have patience with yourself. going whole grain takes time to get just right, but keep doing it.

happy baking!

It's lucky I can cook, because it's been a WEEK! (and it's not over yet!)

I needed some comfort food. And I left work while it was still light outside (barely.) Tonight, in honor of being a human being, I am not reading all my emails and checking the voicemail on the special events line. I am not writing to partners and committee members and being supportive to actors...ok, well, fine. I am answering a couple of emails. But only the important ones from partners and committee members.

I made shepherd's pie. That's right, fool. And it's pretty awesome.

My recipe turned out to be pretty quick and dirty, you know, like me.

Ok, arrive home from grocery store, pour a glass of wine, set a big pot of water on the stove to boil.

Scrub-a-dub about a pound of ruby gold potatoes, cut into fourths and throw in the boiling water(peeling is for suckers). Meanwhile, toss a pound of ground turkey into a large skillet over medium-high heat. (Note: You're going to want a teensy bit of grease on your turkey a little later, so i would recommend getting a grind with a little fat in it. I'm cheap, so i just got the 85/15 turkey and poured out the grease just before adding the vegetables. What I'm saying is, I wouldn't go for the 99/1) While you're browning your turkey, cut up your fixin's. I used a precious little organic carrot, sliced, 2 stalks of celery, about a cup of frozen veg blend (carrots, peas, corn, green beans), one huge shallot, sliced, and some cut-up fresh herbs: rosemary, sage, thyme. That smelled orgasmic, btw.

Isn't it pretty?

Anyway, once my turkey was browned, I drained the grease, then added the vegetables and a bunch of cracked pepper and cooked it until the celery got a little transparent and the shallots broke up and started to look sauteed. uuuuuuggggggh.mmmmmmmmmmm. I just had my first bite of this food. My verdict: effing delicious, but if you're not trying to be heart-healthy, add some butter and salt to the potatoes. After my meat and veg (hehehehehhe) started to look not-raw, and a new, smaller batch of turkey grease had shown up, I added about a 1/4 cup of whole wheat flour. Meanwhile, my potatoes were about done, so I drained them, turned around and ...what the...right! I forgot about my glass of wine. It was also about this time that I remembered to preheat the oven. Happily sipping now, I started in on the potatoes. I added about a 1/2 cup of ricotta, 1/4 cup skim milk, a bunch of cracked pepper and a scant 1/8 teaspoon sea salt. mmmmuuuhhh. I almost wish this blog were a voice recording so you could hear me saying this while totally stuffing my face with this food. Now that my turkey/veg and flour mixture had spent a couple of minutes browning, I added 1 1/2 - 2 cups low-sodium chicken broth, which is amazing, and totally salt free, and I made on the night of the holy-shit-i-can-make-great-no-salt-chicken-broth-but-then-oops-i-broke-the-jar-and-now-only-have-one-and-a-half-cups incident. I let the chicken broth cook into the mixture and make a bit of a gravy for a couple of minutes while I preheated the oven. Because, you know, I forgot that before.

I transferred the meat/gravy/veg business to a 9x9 pyrex dish and topped it with the potatoes. Then, I smooshed the potatoes around until they made a delightful and semi-sealed layer on top.

So, swiss cheese has way less sodium than other cheeses. And fresh mozzarella...it's downright low sodium! The point of what I am saying is this: I hadn't had cheddar cheese, totes my fave, in nearly a month. So I cheated, just a little, and shredded just a wee taste of cheddar onto the top of my pie. Everything in moderation, I say. Otherwise, you'll go off the map completely. I try to take even my cheating seriously and be responsible about it, thus the fact that I resisted piling mountains of gooey, delectable extra-sharp cheddar all over my food.

I baked it at 375 (which would be closer to 400 if my oven told the truth) for about 20 minutes, or until the gravy business started bubbling out a little, and then I let it rest (in the microwave, because my cat, Hugo, can SO not be trusted.) for about 10 minutes. Then I ate it. And I still am. And it rulz.

Also, a note. I am having trouble with my image-y business in blogger today. Sorry if things are out of order!

Berry Sexy

When I was diagnosed with high cholesterol a few years back, my doctor put me on an insane diet. I already ate better than most people I knew and this took it to a whole new level. It was basically the Atkins diet, except without any of the fun fattening stuff. Low salt, low carb, low fat. So, basically, I was allowed to eat salad. All the time. Salad salad salad. More fucking salad. I wasn't even allowed to eat most FRUIT, for crying out loud. I lost a good little bit of weight on the diet and my cholesterol did, in fact, drop. Too bad it wasn't even vaguely sustainable. I was cranky all the time and basically obsessed with food. I felt incredibly deprived of all the sensual reasons that I love to eat.

So, every week or so, I would binge- I would eat a milkshake AND a brownie AND french fries AND chicken tenders. The binges began to happen more and more frequently until I was eating exponentially worse on the diet than I was before I started the damn thing. I ended up gaining all the weight back plus some and my cholesterol creeped back up.

This experience taught me an important lesson. If I'm going to be on a diet, it needs to be a diet of decadence. If I'm going to restrict myself, I better damn well enjoy it. I learned to add little ingredients to salads that made them feel luxurious, rather than like rabbit food. You would be amazed at how 1/2 an ounce of brie and a well herbed vinaigrette can really bring a salad to life. I learned that whole grains can be delicious if prepared right. And most importantly, I learned that berries are really really good for you and are basically the sexiest food on the planet. You know those commercials where chocolate is being poured into something and you just watch it drizzle and ripple like silky, liquid sex? I don't know why certain foods are so sexy but berries and chocolate are up there on the list of worlds sexiest foods. I can't really eat much chocolate on this diet- so berries it is..

1/2 cup blueberries
1/4 cup raspberries
1 tbs Fage 0% fat greek yogurt (or creme fraiche if you can afford the fat and want to make it really decadent)
1 tbs light coconut milk
teensy weensy drizzle of agave

-Place all berries in a small, beautiful bowl or a glass intended to serve alcholic beverages. Arrange them so they look like they're so tightly squeezed together that they might just burst.
-Top with dollop of yogurt or creme fraiche.
-Slowly pour coconut milk over berries, making sure you get some inside the raspberries.
- Finally, add an innocent little drizzle of agave. Just a tiny bit. Just enough so a few of the berries on the top row have little bitty glistening beads of agave.


Here's the great thing about this little bit of sex in a cup. It's really really fucking good for you. Blueberries are the shit. They really are a superfood. Joe and Terry Graedon (of The People's Pharmacy) have this to say about it in their book "Favorite Foods":

"Ounce for ounce, blueberries pack a bigger antioxidant punch than almost any other fruit or vegetable. Just 3.5 ounces of blueberries have 2400 ORAC units, a measure of Oxygen Radical Absorbance Capacity. That's about twice as much as spinach or broccoli... Blueberries seem to help brain cells withstand stress (Joseph et al, 2009) blueberries can also help lower blood pressure (Shaughnessy et al, 2009) and protect against stroke in rats (Yasuhara et al, 2008). Promising work at Ohio State University suggests that blueberry extract can block the development of blood vessels that feed tumors, and can inhibit inflammation that encourages their growth (Gordillo et al, 2009)."

The Graedons also suggest that the coconut milk and yogurt are excellent for GI problems.

So, the next time you need a little healthy decadence, seriously, think about some berries with coconut milk and yogurt. I'm guessing it will make you roll your eyes in the back of your head and let out a long satisfied sigh... mmmmm, foodgasm.


UPDATE: Apparently blueberries are ALSO good for GI issues, especially when combined with... you guessed it, probiotics. Yup, yogurt. I'm telling you, these little guys are amazing. hattip: Catie Braly

Say Hello to My Leeetle Friend!

All-Bran: I'd like you to meet some friends of mine.

1/2 c. All-Bran, please meet 3 Tbsp coconut milk, 1/2 c. skim milk and 1/2 c. blueberries. you are all going to be very happy together. in my belly. every freaking day. oh my goodness, this rules.

this meal contains about 6% daily recommended sodium intake, low sugar content (mostly from fruit, except for what's in the all-bran), whole grains and 100%-fucking-deliciousness.

i'm totally going to get the hang of this!

The Sky is Green Bran Muffins

My life is changing. My friend Melissa says it's like accepting that the sky is green. She's brilliant. She's also very good to me and supportive. I mean, I might still bake cupcakes, but today, I made bran muffins. Here's how it went:

Mix 1/2 c. wheat bran with 1/2 c. boiling water and set aside to let the water soak in.
Beat 1/2 c. extra virgin coconut oil in kitchen aid
Add 3/4 c. unsweetened applesauce and keep beating
Add bran with soaked-in water and 2 eggs.
Meanwhile, mix in separate bowl: 1 1/4 cup buckwheat flour, 1 t. baking powder, 4 T. Buttermilk powder
Add dry ingredients until combined. mix in 1/4 c. macadamia pieces, 1 shredded carrot, 2 peeled, diced kiwis, and a handful of cranberries (straight from the freezer, no problem).
Bake at 385, 12 minutes. Makes 12 or so.

Interesting tip: the leftover batter is refrigeratable for 2-4 weeks. you can make fresh muffins every morning if you'd like, just pull it out of the fridge and put that shit in a muffin cup!

Now, if you'd like to make yours taste way better than mine did, add 1/3 c. brown sugar and 1/4 t. salt. plus, you know, some cinnamon never hurt anybody. also a warning: fresh cranberries are tart as all get out (i now totally want a t-shirt that says tart as all get out.) if you use them, they will shock you. but once the muffins have cooled, the cranberries will be less of a tastebud-sore. (like eyesore. get it?)

i'm working on this, peeps. i'm working on accepting the changes, be they permanent or temporary, in my diet. it's hard. it's like learning to do everything all over again. some of my new recipes are going to suck. but i'm working it out. and, if you want to see it, you get to witness it, here, on the blog.

no need to be alarmed, btw. everything's fine. cheers! happy baking!

Editors Note: As it turns out, after a couple of hours, these muffins go from boring to...well..so boring. so, so boring. if you're using this recipe, tweak it. and as soon as i get it right, i'll delete this and add a better recipe.

Wonder Woman Cake

So Friday night. Lets discuss Friday night, shall we?

I was going to meet John's coworkers for the first time. We were going to get all dressed up, head over to Whiskey, and pretend like we were sorta fancy. One by one, the wives, girlfriends and dates started dropping out and, while I am more than comfortable as one of the guys, I realized that being the only lady amongst this crowd was a surefire way to ruin a perfectly good Manscursion.

My adorable and usually kinda oafish fiance gets all dressed up in his pinstripe pants, dress shirt and dress shoes. He even had me put some Aveda Control Paste in his hair. His best friend shows up from Greensboro to pick him up, also dressed to kill. So, I send my two hotties off and snuggle in to have a perfectly amazing Friday night at home, by myself. Some people don't like being alone. I usually get about 8 hours alone in my house a month, total. A whole night to sit on my ass, snuggle my animals and do nothing? By myself!!? I was fucking stoked. The Bones marathon began. Season 3. Gormogon. Rock.

Two episodes in, John calls me. In full wounded puppy mode, he informs me that some of the coworkers did a little pre-gaming, showing up to Whiskey sloshed. John made everyone leave and head to a dive bar where their drunkeness would be slightly more appropriate. One of them climbed on the roof of the bar, ripped his pants all the way to his crotch and proceeded to spend the rest of the evening demanding that people look his "inch and a half." The other one, who was supposed to be the DD, was so drunk that he kept passing out on the bar. Now, I should preface this by saying that occasionally, it becomes apparent how different our high school/college experiences must have been. This doesn't seem too appalling to me. This sounds hilarious. Like something I might want to get pictures of- because Monday morning blackmail is awesome.

Unfortunately, I had an unhappy fiance. We all know what that means, right? Time for baking!! My gorgeous 1950s oven hasn't really appreciated my baking efforts lately. The temperature vascillates between around 300 and 600 degrees, leaving my cupcakes scalded on the outside and straight up batter on the inside. I've discovered that if I turn it to 400, let it heat for an hour, crack the door, let it cool for a while and then just leave the dial 25 degrees under the temperature that I actually want it, I might have a chance at baking an okay cake. I rarely have the time to do this. Friday night, I had nothin' but time.

Normally, this would be the point that I cranked up the Mirah, but I was far too invested in the chemistry between Brennan and Booth. I rummaged through the pantry and found a box of Trader Joe's Madagascar Bourbon Vanilla Bean Cake Mix. Sweet. 1 cup of milk? Check. 2 eggs? Affirmative. 1 stick of butter? Rock. I couldn't bear to just whip up some boxed cake mix without doing anything to it, so I threw in 1/4 cup of Creme Fraiche, just to see what happened. I threw it all in a casserole dish and popped it in the oven for about 50 minutes. I knew when I smelled it that it was gonna be good as shit. I nibbled the corner and found it intensely moist but also surprisingly fluffy. The Halloween episode was on, the one where Bones is dressed like Wonder Woman.

Fuck. Frosting. I didn't have any room temperature butter. No eggs left for Meringue buttercream. No cream cheese. Creme Fraiche? That should work, right? I threw the rest of the tub in my table mixer. Slowly, I alternated between adding about 3/4 cup of Valrhona Cocoa Powder and about 1/3 cup of Confectioners Sugar. Normally, this is the point where I would add the liquid Jesus that is Vanilla Bean Paste. Kate gave me a jar for my birthday and I'm obsessed. OBSESSED. I try to put it in everything. Unfortunately, I thought it would be a fantastic idea to knock it off my counter and watch the jar shatter on my tile floor. After I had cleaned it up and dried my tears, I added plain old boring vanilla. Maybe 1/2 tsp Organic Vanilla Extract. Upon tasting it, I felt like it was still missing something. It was delicious and kind of tasted like a upscale European truffle- but it had a shallow backend. I added about 1 1/2 tsp Instant Espresso Powder and a teensy bit more cocoa powder. Finally I sprinkled some Fleur de Sel in there. For those of you not in the know, fleur de sel is a french, hand harvested sea salt. Despite having a higher mineral content than most salt, it tastes smoother, less metallic and smells a little bit like the ocean. Hot damn, kids. This shit was sex in my mouth. This was close your eyes and sigh delicious. This was no-shopping, no planning, impulse baking, dancing around my kitchen yum. I turned the mixer on 4 and beat the crap out of it for about 5 minutes and then slapped it on the cake. My trick- I put the cake in the freezer while I make the icing so it's nice and cool and I don't have to wait to frost it. I sprinkled some Fleur de Sel and cocoa powder on top once the frosting set and popped it in the fridge. Oh, I also used tweezers to place little decorating pearls in fun swirly heart shapes. It wasn't much to look at and I had to do something to make it feel special...

After about 6 episodes of bones and a belly full of cake batter and frosting, I passed out on the couch. I woke up when the boys got home to watch their faces when they opened the fridge to see their surprise. After hearing, "oh my god, mmm" I decided that my job was done. Baking is kind of like being a super hero, you know.. Except, instead of being smoking hot and badass tough bitches who make the world a better place through vigilantism, we are smoking hot and badass tough bitches who make the world a better place with carbs and foodgasms.

Potato Pancakes...mmmmmmmmm

(you're welcome. i got a fancy new phone with a better camera in it.)

what the day after thanksgiving means to me, instead of psychotic 4am shopping, is potato pancakes.

i know, i know, i usually post about baking...but listen, this food is for serious.

ok, so i realize that the reason these are so amazing is that i got my mother to give me her step by step instructions for the best mashed potatoes ever last night for thanksgiving...which involved some adamant insistence on IDAHO POATOES...[yelled]. someday, if you're really nice, i'll give you instructions, blog followers. maybe. but anyway, your mashed potatoes should do nicely as well...

btw: i spent thanksgiving with these two amazing women right here ------> and the rest of their family (husband/father and two precious twin baby boys not pictured.) aren't they the cutest? i'm thankful for a lovely couple of friends who let me spend thanksgiving with their family, while mine is far away.


Anyway, on to this morning. So, you drag your rusty bottom out of bed and stumble downstairs. get some caffeine in you, and get ready for deliciousness.

first, form the mashed potatoes from last night into patties. this is easiest when they are right out of the fridge, but that's cold...don't worry, your coffee mug will warm you back up! heat a tablespoon (or 1 1/2) of butter (salted...mmmmm) in a non-stick skillet over medium-medium-high until it's all bubbly and then add the patties.


here comes the tricky part: wait.

wait...


wait a long time. if you try to flip them too early, they'll just fall apart. and then you'll have even butterier mashed potatoes, scrambled...which, i have totally eaten before, but even they are not as good as these. have patience. wait about 5 minutes.






keep waiting until they smell all toasty and you can see the browned edges just under the patty.

now flip. ok, this is totally hard, because the potatoes really want to escape from their new toasty brown outside. but you have to show them who is boss. get your spatula all the way under one and lift, slowly flip.

now don't get all cocky after you've successfully flipped one. or they'll know. and then they'll punish you.






now, you'll notice that you've got some potato on your spatula and you are welcome to reward yourself for a flipping job well done by eating it. like i do. and possibly burning your fingers and tongue. like i do.


ok, now you have to wait some more. not quite as long as the first time, but you still have to wait. maybe 3 minutes? you'll see the browned bits at the bottom if you looks closely enough. oila! effing delicious black friday breakfast.

i'm totally obsessed with organic, aromatic flat-leaf parsley these days (which is hilarious because i hated it THE MOST when i was a child!) and so i chopped a little and served it on the side.

and then, as a bonus, i made this beautiful little sip of heaven right here: apple cider, guava nectar, cranberry juice and a slice of lemon (whose zest was sarcrificed to a bechamel yesterday.)

be jealous. then make it yourself. and be thankful.

my holiday tradition. in living color. love you, mom.